Why Pray?
It’s not a matter of changing G-d’s mind. When we pray we become more spiritual beings, who are then more “fitting” to receive that which we have prayed hard for. We can therefore use these gifts more properly and grow from them.
Prayer is G-d’s way of telling the Jewish People, “Speak to Me and I will listen.” It allows us to unburden ourselves to a Higher Being – G-d, who sees all and knows all and loves us unconditionally, even if we don’t necessarily see it.
When we are going through times of stress and anxiety, such as failure in our relationships, livelihood, or health, prayer is G-d’s gift to us, reminding us that we are NOT ultimately in control and only He can help.
Hey…one second. That’s awesome! So you’re saying that at the end of the day, I’m not in control anyway? I just need to do my best and ask G-d to do the rest?
YES!
Doesn’t that come as a relief to you? We as humans have been created with a natural desire to be in control. It’s up to us to fight this natural tendency and train ourselves to put our lives in G-d’s hands. All He wants from us is to try and try again. The outcome? That’s up to Him.
True Story
There is a true story of a man who was struggling financially. He tried pulling all the strings, juggling a number of jobs at a time, dealing with intense stress and and pressure, but he was still not able to achieve his desired results.
One night he had two dreams. He was sitting in the cockpit of a spaceship, surrounded by levers, buttons, and dials. Suddenly the spaceship began to tilt to one side, slowly spinning out of control. Panicked, the man began to pull, tug, press, and push the dials and buttons, trying his best to maintain control of the spaceship. To his dismay, the more he tried to steady it, the more the ship tilted.
Then, for some reason unbeknown to him, the man threw his hands up in the air, abandoning the aircraft’s control panel. He watched in surprise as the levers began to move independently, the buttons pressed themselves in, and the dials turned. Slowly, the spaceship regained control and sailed on smoothly.
Still in the abyss of sleep, the man recounts finding himself riding a horse. The strong animal began to turn its head ferociously, kicking and and traveling in the wrong direction. The man held tightly to the horse’s reigns, trying unsuccessfully with all of his might to calm it and lead it in the right direction. After numerous attempts, again – for some unknown reason, the man suddenly let go of the reigns. As soon as this happened, the horse calmed and began peacefully trotting toward the desired destination.
Upon waking from these two dreams, it was clear to this man what he needed to do. Soon after, he experienced countless successes in his business and personal life, which, he states, was all due to him “letting go of the reigns” and leaving it up to G-d.
Livelihood
Why do we need to pray if G-d knows our every need?
If a billionaire handed his son his credit card with unlimited cash access, his son would grow up spoiled and irresponsible.
In the same light, if G-d gave us everything we wanted automatically, we would never grow, recognize what we value in life, and reach higher levels of personal depth and meaning. Prayer is, if you will, a journey of maturity.
Women
There are 3 auspicious times for a woman to pray, especially to be blessed with children. These are:
1.) After a woman has immersed herself in a mikvah (the ritual bath used for the purpose of purifying one’s self)
2.) After lighting candles for Shabbat or festival
3.) While she is making challah
These three mitzvot, which are especially associated with women, will enhance one’s prayers by virtue of them having performed acts of purity and holiness in G-d’s eyes. While of course one can pray from anywhere at any time, the power of good deeds and actions, such as fulfilling the Torah’s commandments, can uplift one’s prayers to an even higher spiritual plane.
Praying for the “Small Things”
Often people feel they can only pray to G-d for the “big things”: money, recovery from an illness, finding a spouse, etc…
This is a misconception. Although we’d rather not “bother” G-d with our seemingly small, trivial, unimportant matters, G-d loves our prayers and wants us to turn to Him for every need, how ever insignificant we feel they are.
A young mother described an afternoon that she spent with her 4-year-old daughter. It was a hot day and she had no interest in spending it outdoors away from the airconditioning. She had bought her 4-year-old a pack of markers and watched as the girl lost herself in a world of color.
During the activity, her daughter called out, “Mommy, thank you for the markers. I’m really enjoying them.”
The mother was elated as she thought to herself, “You recognize that they were from me? In that case, I’d be happy to buy you something new every day!”
When we are appreciated for the small things we do, we are able to give more from a place of genuine willingness.
In a similar way, G-d loves it when we recognize that He does everything, big and small. The green light you didn’t have to stop at, the exact change in your pocket, or the last appointment available just for you – these are all organized by G-d. And when we pray for these seemingly tiny things, G-d says, “You recognize that I’m the One running the world? I’d be happy to give you more!”
When the Answer Is “No”
Does G-d always answers prayers? Absolutely. Sometimes, though, the answer is “no.”
A child begs his father for some candy. Crouching down besides his young boy, the father tells him, “I’m sorry, you can’t have any now.” Inevitably, the child begins to cry and beg for more.
What’s the big deal? Can’t the father just let his kid have some sugar once in a while?
What the child doesn’t understand is that he has a serious diabetic issue. By his father being so “kind” as to purchase the candy, he’d be sending his son down a one-way street to the nearest emergency room.
G-d knows every detail of our lives better than we do. Everything that happens to us is carefully calculated, like pieces of a puzzle fitting together. When we desperately pray for things that we don’t end up getting, it’s not that the prayer didn’t work. It’s just that G-d knows what is ultimately best for us even if we can’t understand it.
Story
I work in a line of business which is pretty competitive and live in the same neighborhood as another individual with the same profession. Our paths often cross, which is fine – we’re friends.
Last week I heard that one of my past clients was using my friend’s services instead of mine. It was nothing personal – she had received a gift voucher for my friend’s services and just wanted to save money.
I was glad my friend (let’s call her Rachel) had gotten business, but I couldn’t shake of the feeling of, “I wish I had the job. They are, afterall, my clients!”
I shared my thoughts with a close friend, who told me, “You never know what could happen. What if you were offered a job on that day which was five times the profit? Would you still be upset that you hadn’t gotten the first job?”
That really resonated with me and I knew that she was right. Everything G-d does is for the best and only He can see what’s coming. It’s obviously for my own good that I didn’t get that job.
The next day I was in my office when my child’s babysitter called. “Hi, um, your son really doesn’t look well…I think you need to get him checked out.”
A few hours later I found myself sitting in the emergency room, my two-year-old hooked up to a ventilator. Thank G-d, he was treated and was well enough by that evening to return home. As I came down the path to my apartment, I almost knocked into…Rachel. She was rushing to get to the job that I had so desperately wanted!
The chain of events that unfolded in front of my eyes that day clarified exactly why everything happened just as it had. My child needed his mother and I would never have made it to the job anyways!
There are countless stories like this. You experience them too, every day. Think through all of the crazy coincidences and miraculous occurrences that fill your life at every moment and you’ll realize how much there is to be grateful and appreciative for!
Other Prayers
Do you ever feel like praying but don’t really know what to say? How does one address G-d?
There are endless Jewish prayers that have been written by great and holy scholars all for the purpose of connecting with G-d and formulating our heartfelt thoughts and emotions into words. Jews from all around the globe and throughout generations have been using these prayers to help them articulate themselves and communicate to the Almighty.
While traditionally we recite specific psalms and passages that correlate with certain topics or situations we are experiencing, there is no rule that one must be bound to these prayers alone. On the contrary, G-d loves to hear our personal words too, and they can be as simple as, “Hi, G-d. I know that you exist and I could really use some extra money right now. Could You please help me?”
When you pray to G-d, you are doing four things simultaneously:
1.) You are recognizing G-d’s existence
2.) You are recognizing that He is ultimately in control and does everything
3.) You are becoming more humble, realizing that you are not omnipotent
4.) You are strengthening your relationship with G-d
Click here for useful Jewish prayers and ritual customs that you can use on a daily basis!